Sorry i just idk where to post this.

My nono (grandpa) is dying. Only hours left now. Only just found out he was even in this state while visiting my sister for the first time in awhile. Had his wife give him a final message. Having a rough time.

Called my dad (not my nono's son) and he helped me with it but. Feeling guilty for not reaching out more. Would have liked to see him more over the years. He came into my life late because my mom didnt talk to him until i was in highschool. But he was very good to me. Got to see him one more time at my sisters wedding a few years ago at least. Plus his wife sent him my love one last time.

But loss is hard. And looking forward and not woulda coulda shouldaing is hard.

Had a good cry in the shower though. Cathartic. I dont cry much.