you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you're a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

  • Commiejones [comrade/them, he/him]
    ·
    3 months ago

    Crush my 3 brimstone and coal lump and gently mix them together with my salt to make black powder. Fill Ye Flask with the dried powder and use this bomb to blow a hole in the wall so the goblin horde can overtake the city.

    • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      you rolled an 8, so, the mixture does not come together to form black powder. why would it? it would've only worked on 20s and only because 20s have the ability to warp space and time.

      anyways, you have a foul concoction in the ye flask.

      • daniyeg [he/him]
        ·
        3 months ago

        of course it doesn't normal salt doesn't have nitrate in it now i gotta save it somehow.

        ok so now put some clean well water in the flask. mix well and empty out the liquid. the solid stuff left inside the flask should be the leftovers of the brimstone and coal. empty out the soggy leftovers and spread it and put it in front of the sun to dry. clean the flask as well.

          • daniyeg [he/him]
            ·
            3 months ago

            haha. well now grind the saltpetre and fill 3/4 of the flask with it. grind the dried contents as well until it's a fine powder then fill the rest of flask with it. mix very very gently with the stick, and finally put some small length of rope in it and close the flask. tada you got a bomb. after that idk what to do maybe go along with the previous suggestion.