you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you're a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

  • daniyeg [he/him]
    ·
    29 days ago

    ask the guards if you can use the pissing area. if they accept dig whatever place they point to and extract some saltpetre.

    • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      28 days ago

      I SWEAR TO GOD. I AM NOT INFLATING THE AMOUNT OF 20S. THIS IS THE THIRD 20 I ROLLED.

      Guard: "Why, of course, Gobby the Goblin! You can use the pissing area that's helpfully marked."

      You dig up 10 ounces of perfectly intact saltpeter.