As a man trying to get laid with women, I’m constantly having to play games and lean into patriarchal convention because that is really the only way to be half way successful.

The song and dance is mind numbingly stupid but you have to do it if you want to get your pp touched. Nuke cishet dating from orbit, I need a director’s cut, a rerelease. I’m convinced no one actually likes this.

  • Iwishiwasntthisway
    ·
    3 months ago

    I am not talking about violating consent. I am not saying I would expect somebody to continue to touch me if I say no, or keep calling me if I asked them to stop. I agree that sort of game is dangerous and in itself a violation.

    What I am saying, is that "playing hard to get" is a consequence of inherent features in cishet dating.

    1. I have an unlimited supply of men willing to pursue me.
    2. There pursuing me and expressing want for me is a necessary component of my want for them.
    3. I want a long term passionate relationship with somebody who is really into me.
    4. A man's willingness to pursue me is, to some degree, a function of how much he is into me.

    All of these things mean it behooves me to allow them space to compete on this component, after I've sorted out the ones I might like for non behavioral reasons (appearance mostly)