gonna be posting a bunch of quotes in this thread that I want to preserve. you are welcome to post critiques of a given pasta, just remember I don't 100% agree with all of these (only most) but consider them information worth saving. proposed edits will be considered

CONTENT WARNING: there's going to be mentions of imperial atrocities in here, including SA and torture.

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    4 months ago

    WILL: By the way, Bret Stephens was once on stage at a synagogue in New York City at some big sponsored event, uh, I forget... probably some institution that he works for as a fellow for, where they interviewed Sheldon Adelson on stage, and Sheldon Adelson said— on stage— that we should preemptively nuke Iran! They said like "well, wouldn't that be a massive war crime?"— of course Bret Stephens didn't say that, he clammed up real fucking quick. He didn't say shit... and Sheldon Adelson said "well, just bomb the desert as a warning. No one lives there."

    FELIX: <laughing> Oh my god, what a great country.

    MATT: There's nothing like a warning shot of massive radiation just going into your fucking town.

    WILL: Stephens sat there like a mute and said nothing, because guess what— he agrees with him!

    MATT: Of course. The only thing that's good about Sheldon Adelson and his horrible influence on politics, is that— when I want to feel better about how horrible everything is, I just think back to 2016, and I just think of how many sponge baths Ted Cruz gave him. Thinking the whole time, "it's worth it, you're gonna be president." Getting under the crevices, getting under the tit meat, thinking "it's gonna be ok, you're gonna be president". Going under those gargoyle-taloned feet of his, going between each one with the sponge, and thinking "you're gonna be president, this is all gonna be fine when you're taking that fucking oath of office."

    FELIX: Don't you love when you're giving Sheldon Adelson a bath and like a— you know, make sort of an oval between your index finger and your thumb— uhh, a flake of skin that size comes off, and his wife looks at you, and without saying anything you know that she wants you to eat it like a chip?

    MATT: Just the moment when you're spit-shining a mole the size of a hubcap, and thinking about being president.

    FELIX: I love when you're washing his big mole and you scrub hard enough that you see eyes and a mouth come out, and it looks at you and it says "Jerusalem is the capital."

    from Chapo Trap House Ep 328