I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

  • LaughingLion [any, any]
    ·
    24 hours ago

    Look up limerence to understands this better. It can develop into something unhealthy. There are strategies for managing limerence.

    • EelBolshevikism [none/use name]
      ·
      23 hours ago

      The way this is phrased makes it sound like an inherently problematic pathological issue. Limerence can be unhealthy when it masks your judgement and the fears and butterflies-in-your-stomach create obsessive spirals, but it's not a mental illness or an inherently problematic emotion by itself. I would actually take serious issue with defining it as such. I also don't like the infantilizing tone many people take with it, as if people who experience it at all are just weak or childish. It's absurd to put all of that negative emotion on a human emotion that's basically just the honeymoon phase.

      • LaughingLion [any, any]
        ·
        23 hours ago

        oh, it can develop into something pathological for sure. i think if you find yourself crushing hard on someone that can be super cute and fun but also its good to understand how limerence can develop and can become a problem so like if you understand it then you can be aware and avoid falling into that trap

        • EelBolshevikism [none/use name]
          ·
          23 hours ago

          The word in my comment you seem to have missed is that I said it isn't inherently a pathological issue. Actually when you are aware of it like you said I think it's actually quite pleasant

    • lil_tank [any, he/him]
      ·
      21 hours ago

      I had no idea this word existed I'm going to DIG this thanks a lot !!