1.Israel stupidly keeps attacking everyone and US weapons supply runs dry. They get destroyed by their victims retaliation.
2.China actually decides to do something.
3.Russia does that Simpsons bit where robot Lenin breaks out of his grave. But says "Haha joke!" And continues being shitty and capitalist.
4.Ukraine does something stupid and Nazi-coded to get attention from US senpai.
5.The US accidentally nukes itself.
Gotta go with self nuke on this one
the key part of it is that the US government will do a 'cost-benefit analysis' and determine the most multicultural city with any cultural recognition but make sure it has the least "economic output" (read: rich whites) or "strategic significance" (read: is a military town with chud whites) possible.
then they'll do the self nuke and blame China, stating Iran & Russia were providing a smokescreen by making """""Israel""""" commit genocide
gonna be portland for sure can't nuke sf or la or seattle with that logic so portland's where it's at