CW: chapter 2 contains a detailed description of child abuse by a parent
Hello comrades, it's time for our second discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy). Thanks to everyone who participated last week, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you’re just joining the book club this week, welcome!
In Ch.2 hooks defines patriarchy, how it is enforced by parental figures and society at large, and the struggle of antipatriarchal parents to raise children outside of these rigid norms when the border culture is so immersed in them. Ch.3 delves deeper into the effects of patriarchy on young boys and girls and the systemic apparatuses that reinforce gender norms.
If you haven't read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)
As always let me know if you'd like to be added to the ping list!
Our next discussion will be on Chapters 4 (Stopping Male Violence) and 5 (Male Sexual Being), beginning on 12/11.
I don't really have any cool insight about what hooks says, this is just a big paragraph about the book's effect on me.
spoiler
I am just kinda surprised how much patriarchial manhood has seeped into my brain despite being a trans guy I suppose. I didn't think trans men are automatically free from toxic masculinity but I didn't expect my pre-realisation life to be a period for learning it. I thought things like suppressed rage, fear of emotions and constant attempts to justify myself as a guy were specific to me as a person due to some mental problem. This book made me rethink what I was taught about being a man and how I encountered gender throughout life.
It also got me to be more honest towards my friends about emotions and that's been a positive change.