I'm not sure I've ever known and am not certain I will. I can be happy in a moment, but that goes away. Meds help me shrug it off, and I don't tend to dwell on existential shit like this for long, but like...I dunno that I was cut out for this world, yo.

Also this isn't a cry for help and im not particularly sad or upset right now, I was just walking one of the pups and thought to myself "if I can't be happy I'm gonna make sure these fuckers are."

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    6 days ago

    I just want to echo others' statements about seeking contentment and satisfaction.

    for me, happiness and joy are guests, like sorrow and despair. my baseline is to seek contentment with those small, frequent moments in life that bring some satisfaction if we are brave enough to notice. a day's weather, a good meal, a conversation with a friend, whatever.

    sometimes I am "happy", but I think it is unrealistic to expect that as a baseline. I tend to not be as aware of my surroundings in a state of joy. to chase something fleeting forever seems inappropriate and destined for dissatisfaction. like trying to hang on to something wild and free.