I'll go first [CW racism]
"Did you know they just passed a law in Afghanistan that women aren't even talk to each other anymore?" - My Zionist cousin at Xmas dinner.
The rest of the family proceeded to spend half an hour ranting about how terrible Arabs are.
..so, how's your holiday been? 
My in-laws are insufferable codependent Puritan shitheads and I hate exposing my kid to their derangement, if only for two or three days a year.