I don't know, but this comment from @Hermes@hexbear.net has given me some stuff to think about.
People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.
This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").
I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.
Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that's what I mean please.
I don't want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.
Look mom, I'm on TV!
A lot of the people here are explaining that they have not seen incel getting used in this way elsewhere on the site, or at all. I know from experience that incel is used quite often as a catch all for misogynists and people who don't have sex, so this surprised me quite a bit. Since I did not expect my comment to get this kind of response, I didn't look for any examples of this kind of usage, here or elsewhere.
In order to actually determine the usage of "incel" on hexbear, I used the search function to show only local comments sorted by new. I skipped past all the comments from this thread and the previous one, as they are not relevant to the common usage of the term. I only read comments containing the word "incel" in the past 2 months. Overall, I was actually surprised at how often "incel" was used as a descriptor for actual incels, I did not think there would be as much discussion there as there actually was. Because of the common usage of "incel" as a label for actual incels I don't believe it should be prohibited. However, there were also quite a few times where it got used as a general insult towards someone doing misogyny.
Examples (Spoilered for formatting)
Gross comment by hexbear user replied to by calling them an incel: https://hexbear.net/comment/5774460
Non-hexbear user doing a misogyny and getting called an incel: https://hexbear.net/comment/5770128
Elon musk getting called an incel: https://hexbear.net/comment/5748812
In fairness to this one, I don't know if this guy is actually an incel, or just a reactionary weirdo.
getting called an incel: https://hexbear.net/comment/5742119
There are two main uses of incel on this site, the first is targeted towards Gamers^tm doing Gamer^tm things. And while I am sure many of these people are actual incels, most of the comments about them are really just playing into the sexless nerd trope in order to insult them that way. A gamer complaining that a women wearing clothes in a video game is woke could be an incel, but is probably just a reactionary doing misogyny. Many of these gamers are either in relationships with equally reactionary women, or are willing to lie to less reactionary women to have relationships with them. The other main target is yoon, while he may get a lot of support from incels, he has been married since 2012.
Just to be clear, I am not supporting anyone who people are calling an incel. However, "incel" is being used to insult people based on a perceived lack of sex had by the person being responded to, rather than just insulting their misogyny. A few people in this thread have mentioned that they don't see incel as an insult for people who don't have sex, and while I would like to believe that, "incel" is a shortened form of "involuntary celibate" which is obviously linked to a lack of sex. As said elsewhere, this is not something we should be insulting people for, as I said in the linked comment, I think this falls into the same trap as body shaming fascists, where the main people hit by the insult are not the target.
Overall, I think incel is fine to use in reference to actual incels, but not ok to refer to general misogynists. As an example, a person posting on the incel website could be called an incel, but elongated muskrat should not be called an incel. As I said in the previous comment, this would be annoying to moderate, and there are probably better ways for all of us to spend our time.
To add more context to your second example (woah now I'M on TV
), the removed comment that prompted me to call that user an incel said:
This struck me as straight up incel ideology, they're basically saying "the reason biphobia exists is because those FEMOIDS only want to date CHAD", so I responded in kind by calling them what they sounded exactly like. I could be wrong, they might've been a run-of-the-mill misogynist and I agree with your overall point about how the term should be used correctly. Just wanted to throw that out there
I did check the modlog for these when I was picking them out, so I did know the contents of the removed comment. I did not read the comment in the same way, my interpretation of that comment was the user blaming women for societal expectations placed upon men. Which is still misogyny, but not really the way that incels would frame that point, at least in my opinion. Regardless of you agreeing with my interpretation, this is a good reason why it shouldn't be thrown around as a generic insult. If two people trying to read a post for incel thoughts are getting different messages about the ideology of the user who posted it there are some users will see "incel" being used against a generic misogynist, which is bad for reasons stated above.
I don't want it to sound like I think these ideas shouldn't be ridiculed, but there are other ways to do it that don't involve calling them incels.