I'm constantly drinking before or/and after work. I don't usually drink when I don't have to work. I don't see how living this life and working a job like this for the rest of my working life makes sense. I don't see how living this life could be worth it. I already see a psychiatrist, the meds make me functional but I still don't see life as being worth it. I tend to read on Buddhism as a way to escape the suffering that is life. Do any of you relate?
I'd recommend listening to the "On Alcoholism" episode by Revolutionary Left Radio, its a long 3 hour talk about a guy explaining his alcoholism journey but he is incredibly charismatic so it's not boring.
A good psychiatrist might help but i think what ultimately helped the podcast guest overcome his alcoholism was his local AA community, anyways i listened to that episode years ago so i am not exactly sure so you should listen to it since your problem seems similar to his.