Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I'm already obsessed. I haven't had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it's just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
Linux Mint is one of the best ways to take an old business laptop from a few years ago and turn it into a nice, functional and smooth running device. I have been doing this myself too.
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in the actual sense or in the Todd Howard sense?
"see that vramfs? You can mount it"
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