Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️
It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.
This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.
I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.
My only real advice to you is to meet as many girls as humanly possible and do not lower your standards for anyone, no matter how pretty they are.
The only way to be "behind" on dating is to not work on yourself. Sounds like you've been doing a lot for yourself, with your career and losing weight and all. Don't forget therapy. There is nothing more attractive to a girl than just being in a good spot mentally, socially, and physically. Seriously, the bar for men is at ankle height! Most guys don't work on themselves and go through life as a shambling pile of red flags, and then girls settle for that.
When my fiancée first met me, I was living in my parent's basement and biking to work every day because I didn’t have a car. But I had a clear idea of who I was and what I wanted to be, and I was working towards my short-term goal of buying a new car. Somehow that was enough to be an amazing once-in-a-lifetime catch for her. You are way better off than I was, and even I was able to catch a girl that is better than anything I could have hoped for. (At this point in my life, my list of "what the perfect girl looks like" had gotten so long that I had given up on finding someone who fit even most of them, then she walks in and I realize she checked every box on that list, even the childish stuff like having the biggest boobs I've seen in person and having all the same hobbies as me) Point is, don't ever think you aren't worth it. I got my dream girl while living in my parent's basement with no car and no career; if my loser ass can do it, you can too. Have faith in yourself.
On a side note, I think what's making things feel harder is how much more difficult dating is when you aren't going to school. I would recommend getting involved in irl hobbies and keeping your eyes open. That way you are more likely to meet girls who have hobbies in common with you.