I've been helplessly struggling with intrusive thoughts since as long I can remember. They were hard to explain. They got more drastic since the start of my teen years and gets bad to the point they make me want to commit suicide.
They ruin about everything. Things I love, critical thinking, my perception of reality, my sanity, and my mental health.
I rarely tell people because I was afraid that they were going to give me very dull advice. And it was months ago when I finally found the actual term for these thoughts. Right now my mind feels numb and worn out. (Probably gonna edit this later.)
I have adhd but never got diagnosed yet
Sorry if this is something you already know. I believe intrusive thoughts are commonly associated with ADHD, so if you aren’t already seeking ADHD treatment, that would be a good step if you have the means. I don’t have much more of use to add though.