And I pretended that I could not hear from him. He tried calling me back, but I did not pick up the call. I know, asshole move, but what the fuck am I supposed to tell him?

"Hey, it's been about a year, and I'm totally not fucking jobless for about a year and a half, and that I've totally not wasted my time on contributing to open-source projects, and that I've absolutely not gone insane by sitting inside my room all alone, trying to work on side projects, which are still incomplete? Hahahaha, no I'm not weird."

I guess he just wanted to wish me a Happy New Year, and ask how I was doing. Except that it was just a new year, just like it was, about a year ago, without the happy part. Lol, and I deleted all the phone numbers on my mobile, including his.

  • bloubz@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    9 months ago

    I think it's honorable of you of working on these open source projects. You can absolutely finish some of your side projects too

  • the_post_of_tom_joad [any, any]
    ·
    9 months ago

    "Hey, it's been about a year, and I'm totally not fucking jobless for about a year and a half, and that I've totally not wasted my time on contributing to open-source projects, and that I've absolutely not gone insane by sitting inside my room all alone, trying to work on side projects, which are still incomplete? Hahahaha, no I'm not weird."

    Don't listen to me if i am off base, but it sounds to me like you have a chance to talk with someone you have made a real connection to in this fucked up world and did not simply from shame. What have you done to be ashamed about?

    I feel like maybe you're feeling bad for not measuring up to some standard you have set for yourself, yet your passion projects show me you have been busy doing something you feel is important.

    Where is the wasted time? What exactly is it you feel you must have completed in this time to have it notbe a waste?

    I don't believe in the wasting of time, and i firmly dismiss the idea that you are what you do for a living, especially in this time and age where many jobs have had most of what makes them fulfilling stripped away from them.

    You, in the meantime have found a way towards food and shelter while working on something that matters to you, and you're keeping sane in an insane fucking world. Im not blowing smoke when i tell you to be proud of this. I envy you. Be proud of the choices you have made. You made them. Do not balk just because you believe the world will judge you. You haven't even given your friend a chance!

    We're all going crazy my brother, and we need other people more than ever.

    So listen up mister. You call him back right now.