I've already ran the gamut on jokes about Dicks.
I was in Malaysia once and a got chatting to a guy who didn't have the best English. He asked me for another way to say "I'm only joking" and I taught him to say "I'm only having a giraffe", which he managed in broken English ("Having a jee raff") I hope one day he says that to an Englishman and confuses him thoroughly.
What do you mean? Having a jee raff honestly sounds perfect. I'll be in Malaysia in February so I'll teach that one to some locals. Also, having a gazebo.
It's hard to put into text but the emphasis was on the ee. It was all wrong. But it made it so much better.
Fuckwit is a traditional insult that I have found is often quickly taken into new arrivals hearts. My guess is, this is because it unites two words with very old IndoEuropean roots.
"Cockwomble" definitely gives off the impression of having looked up how to sound like a Brit on the internet! Big fan of smeghead though.