Black coffee made from instant coffee is understandably horrifying and tastes like ammonia smells, but have you considered fresh coffee? I don't mean filter coffee, either, the filter paper absorbs all of the tasty coffee oils, leaving only an ashy aftertaste, I'm talking espresso, moka pot, greek / turkish coffee and french press.
Similarly, if you normally find that you hate dark chocolate, perhaps it is because your chocolate is made with slave labour and also not very good.
I am currently enjoying a fine ten year old aged Java. It is very tasty, and I highly recommend.
Yeah, here in Aus coffee is generally good, and I generally hate it outside of maybe a tiramisu where it's part of a mostly not coffee flavour profile. I've had what people assure me is the best Long White in Melbourne, which is like asking for the best Sushi in Kyoto.
I don't like coffee for the same reason many people don't like extremely dark chocolate, even when it's heavily sweetened (I do). It just doesn't taste good.