I can't talk to people, I don't fucking want to talk to people. But it's required to get medicine that will help me function and exist ever so slightly better (barely any better, but I can tell I've been getting worse without it).

I've been without medicine for more than a month now because I can't get any more without fucking talking to someone. I can tell I've been deteriorating, but I can't do shit about it.

And the psychiatrist I had didn't actually give a shit. The one time I was able to and tried to actually talk about problems, he just completely didn't give a shit. Then he tried to tell me to see a fucking therapist. That's your motherfucking job. I'm definitely not going to talk to two different people about the same shit when I can barely talk about it all.

And of course no matter what they aren't going to give a shit anyway because I'm autistic and can't elaborate my problems in any way that makes them care or even think there are problems.