But I cannot stay in Germany. I do not function here. I cannot do anything. Literally. So I will be going back to Ireland, in spite of having no job or housing there, in spite of getting 0 positive or just 0 any responses from jobs and housing there. So I will be homeless. I will be jobless. With my medical debt growing, since I won't have an income to pay it, but I still don't falter, because the worth of being able to communicate freely is one one may not fully comprehend until they're secluded.
Healthcare sadly isn't free in Germany. As long as you're not a citizen, it'll be painful all the way and depending on what you have, it'll be painful regardless. I'm trying to get proper psychological help and progress has been slow to non existant. And the bureaucratic process is also painfully slow and awful. It's not impossible to get through though, with maybe some help from the local social workers. Several organizations for helping queer people out too, regardless of where they come from. But regardless of your choices, I wish you the best of luck and success and get well soon.