I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like the universe or something within os trying to tell me something and I'm so close to getting it. I'm going to start meditating for therapeutic reasons, but I was curious if there are ways I could better listen to whatever it is that I feel.
I know openness is important, but I don't really understand what it means to open up like that.
I don't consider most deities as necessarily benevolent beings. Some of them might be uncaring, and others straight up cruel. Even if you take the Christian God... just look at the Old Testament, lots of fire and brimstone.
Prayer to me is like a plea to an uncaring universe. Most of the time, it won't answer back, but when it happens, it can be very good or very bad.
I have been praying to Tiamat since my teenage years.