it sucks. I've been seeing this guy for like a year and a half, and like, idk, he doesn't act like he actually cares about me? it's really weird and i feel really sad a lot because of it.

he's nice ish when we're together but he never talks to me otherwise. he never texts me or calls me, when I text him usually he doesn't reply. he never like takes me out anywhere or wants to do anything with me, everything we do I have to initiate. he just wants to sit around on his phone all the time.

a few months ago he totaled his car, and he still hasn't gotten a new one despite having plenty of money for one because he's a snob and will only get a car he considers "cool" which he can't afford, leaving me on the hook for all our transportation, and despite him having a decent job and like no living expenses he's never once even offered to get a meal for us both. almost every time I take us out he criticises the food/place/people in the place/atmosphere.

two weeks ago I got surgery. I needed to go to another country for it. it was really major surgery and really scary for me. he didn't reach out to me a single time. never called, never wished he luck or asked how I was, still hasn't. yet he's on discord in my discord server all the time talking about other shit. I feel like I'm just not worth somebody caring about if this person who supposedly loves me cares more about discord and memes than like if I even survived anesthesia.

I'm only really with him still because he's not like actively abusive to me, dating strangers is scary, and I don't wanna hurt him by breaking up with him, but honestly I think I'm at a point where I need to just let him go and move on

anyways, idk :3 I'll be oki eventually