Jesus: "You did WHAT in my name?!? Why would you torture gay ppl, wtf is wrong with you?!?! Why do you treat poor people so terrible, did you read my book at all?!"
"Oh my dad! Look at how much you've polluted Fathers planet, he is going to be so pissed. What do you mean prosperity gospel? That's not what that means!!! Me-Christ, you people are the devil!"
And none of that has anything to do with the fundie interpretation of “rapture”. What’s next? The eye of the needle being a gate?
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That gate never existed, or at least no evidence for it's existance exists. The myth dates back a couple centuries[1], but I think it's widely established that it is just a myth.
[1]https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/new-testament-studies/article/origin-of-the-needles-eye-gate-myth-theophylact-or-anselm/51F6B1FD504C36C42D6201F6D87F83C3
And here I was thinking that was pure evangelical cope. That’s actually historically attested to?
It's evangelical cope by evangelicals who don't even understand the supposed metaphor they made up. Even in the gate situation, a rich person would have to give away all their material possessions before becoming Christian or dying to enter heaven.
When a tele-evangelist (Kenneth Copeland I think) was confronted about this, he said "well also through God all things are possible 😉".
These preachers know what they are doing, they are just evil.
You don't know what "nothing" or ”none” mean.