Jesus: "You did WHAT in my name?!? Why would you torture gay ppl, wtf is wrong with you?!?! Why do you treat poor people so terrible, did you read my book at all?!"
"Oh my dad! Look at how much you've polluted Fathers planet, he is going to be so pissed. What do you mean prosperity gospel? That's not what that means!!! Me-Christ, you people are the devil!"
I am just saying, does the infernal army want recruits? I'd be down to join. It be cool to see all the humans from the other 298,000 years of human history.