I linked to this thread, only because it's what got me thinking about this topic again. Me and my SO talk about phones occasionally, regarding our kids. Neither of them are anywhere close to an age where they might have one. However, as time goes on, we find ourselves so repelled by the idea of the kids having a fully fledged smartphone.
Given the reality that all social media apps are effectively skinner boxes, training you to use them more, the idea of allowing kids on them feels like offering a 10-year-old a cigarette. I have to remind myself that the internet I grew up on is dead and gone. I may have been exposed to some weird ass shit in AOL chat rooms, but there wasn't any kind of algorithmic content feed keeping me itching and scratching.
So far, the only time the oldest uses an iPad is when they use mine, and the only apps they use are Procreate for drawing, and an app that helps kids learn to write letters and words. Watching TV is probably the worst thing we get into at home when it comes to just pure content consumption, but we keep the list of watchable stuff pretty small, and regularly axe shows we feel don't meet our standards when we venture off that list.
I guess this has evolved into a larger discussion about media consumption as I have typed this out, but at the end of the day, that's what's happening on these phones, right?
The amount of harassment and horrible negative stuff that children can be exposed to via unsupervised smartphone access is staggering.
I'm not a parent but I'd rather my kids get bullied for not having a phone than opening them up to the risk of receiving a constant stream of bullying 24/7.
[CW: for pretty much everything - SH, CSA, suicide etc. from here on]
That's without even mentioning the potential for them to be exposed to sexual predators, to reveal too much information about themselves online, to be involved in production or consumption of CSE material, to be exposed to really toxic stuff about things like health (e.g. pro-anorexia groups), scams, gambling, drug abuse, guides for carrying out suicide and so much more.
Looking back on it I was exposed to wildly inappropriate things online although I missed a whole lot of the really violent and graphic stuff due to a lack of interest in a lot of that material, thankfully. But it only takes one video to seriously traumatise a kid, potentially even permanently, and it only takes one "prank" for that to happen.
I get what you're saying but at the same time, sometimes there are worse things in the world than copping some flak for not having a smartphone like the cool kids and I'm certain that there are parents out there who wish they could get their kid back or get their kid back to the time before they were deeply and permanently scarred by overexposure to the online world.
It's just not the kind of gamble I'd be willing to personally take.