I think I get it?

When you're the top it may seem like you are """in charge""" but really when you have sex and what you do is fully determined by the bottom.

At the end of the day you can only go as far as they want

I don't agree with the part where the bondsman achieves self consciousness through labor by being able to put on personal touches and the pure act of creation. Has an office worker achieved class consciousness by decorating their desk? Does an underpaid factory worker become unalienated because they see the cars they built around town?

From personal experience I can say "no".