I'm your regular end user. I use my computers to edit text, audio and video, watch movies, listen to music, post and bank on the internet...
my main computer uses now debian 12.5 after abandoning xubuntu.
For my backup notebook I have several candidates:
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Simply install debian 12.5 again, the easiest choice.
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Install linux mint, so I get ubuntu but without them throwing their subscription services down my throat. I'm unsure about other advantages, as ubuntu is debian based, maybe the more frequent program updates? Kernels are also updated more often than with debian as far as I know. Do you know of other advantages?
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Go for FreeBSD: this might require a learning curve, because this is an OS I've never used. Are commands that different from debian?
other more niche linux OSs seem too much a hassle and I guess won't be as supported as the main ones.
I'd go with Linux Mint Edge Edition (not the default Mint). Better support for hardware than either plain Mint, or Debian, and more optimizations for laptops and battery (ubuntu might be hated, but they have lots of kernel patches). Also, for some weird reason, Mint with Cinnamon uses less RAM than Debian with Cinnamon. Also, easier support for third party non-free drivers.
I love BSD, but I wouldn't want it on a laptop. They're just not optimized for such usage with batteries etc.
is Edge a desktop environment or a system that lets you use other DEs later? I'm partial to xfce.
I thought every DE gets the same kernel patches.
Edge is Cinnamon with a newer kernel. So, since you like XFce, try install the XFce version of Mint, and see if it works with your system. If it mostly works and boots, but not completely, you can always install the newer kernel found on Edge using the Update app (there's a menu option to install newer kernels after installation). But if it doesn't install/boot, but you're confident that Linux should support your laptop, then consider the Edge version with Cinnamon.