I recently started a new campaign. Two players (one who has played in my games before and their SO, who has been begging me for a spot for years) unexpectedly dropped out, moments before our first session. Their reason was somewhat baffling; they said they didn't want to spend "all day" on this, despite the game only going from noon to 3PM. They seemed to think this was a totally unreasonable expectation on my part, despite them previously having stated they were available during that time. This puzzled me.
I've been musing on this, and the strange paradox of people that say they want to play D&D but don't actually want to play D&D, and I've had an epiphany.
A lot of people blame Critical Role or other popular D&D shows for giving prospective players misplaced perceptions, often related to things like your DM's voice acting ability or prop budget, but I don't think that's what's going on here. My realization is that, encoded in the medium of podcasts and play videos, is another expectation: New players unconsciously expect to receive D&D the way they receive D&D shows: on-demand, at their house, able to be paused and restarted at their whim, and possibly on a second-screen while they focus on something else!
I don't know as this suggests anything we as DMs could do differently to set expectations, but it did go a long ways to helping me understand my friends, and I thought it might help someone here to share.
I thought you were going to take this in the direction of unrealistic expectations about how long a session takes. I've always been really amazed at podcaster DMs' ability to get so much done in a 1-2 hour segment. When I used to DM I felt like I got the same amount done in about twice the time.
I mean, thats honestly going to be a thing that happens whenever some people get into something new through a different medium, really. Warped expectations are a thing. We've been dealing with it for decades with people who come to D&D/TTRPGs from video games, and expect the in game NPCs to act like theyre from skyrim or something. It's honestly not that much different, only with a different set of preconceived notions.
There's only one pause button I know that works on GMs, "food's ready!"
That'll pause any game. Though it may pause it in 10 minutes, as sometimes you want to hit a stopping point.
