alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?

I'm still looking for a drama free workplace and I don't understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere

Working in several industries, I've met:

  • white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I'm very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?

  • Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn't so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn't you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?

  • An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.

  • And just today: 'it's good that Trump was shot' Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.

I have waaaaay more examples, but I'll keep it simple.

I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don't want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I'm very thin skinned and I'm easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell 'fck off, you piece of sht, I don't give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone', or something like that. But I need the job.

My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn't it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?

Unless, of course, you've job hopped till you found a drama free workplace... please tell me how you did it.

I want to be the old guy who doesn't give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.

  • ianovic69@feddit.uk
    ·
    4 months ago

    People get comfortable, relax their boundaries and behave like children.

    Kids who are well behaved outside of the home are just as naughty at home as any others. It's because they feel safe, and for kids that's ok.

    Every work place has variations on the issues you describe, depending on the personalities of staff and how management deal with them.

    In my experience, the places that have the least drama are where the management are most skilled at dealing with people. Which sounds obvious but there's a great deal of management who don't know how to get staff to work effectively, let alone get on with each other.

    Even for non management, there's a lot to discover about this stuff in the book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.