and how do I react next time they don't greet me?

I started working at this department 3 weeks ago. I went into the office I now work at, greeted 2 coworkers I've already worked with, they looked at me, said nothing, kept talking to themselves.

How am I supposed to interpret that?

To me this is disrespectful, maybe you disagree?

Then, as I was working, I saw both of them staring at me. What am I supposed to do when that happens? To me this signals hostility and passive aggressiveness.

I separate private life from personal one but even I know that the least you can do is to greet your coworkers, unless you want them to quit.

  • Spongebobsquarejuche [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I was once at a party and I was trying to introduce myself to this person. I put my hand out to shake theirs and they fold there arms up and look away and say hello. How rude. I say what's up? They, not making eye contact arms folded, 'Nothing'.

    I leave this weird game this person is playing fairly annoyed.

    I walk over to a friend, who's this person who won't even look at me? 'Oh that's Tim, he's blind.'

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
    ·
    2 months ago

    We are all ghosts driving bone mech suits covered in flesh armor. Our only knowledge of the universe is our own interpretation of the data provided by our input sensors. In other words, we can only experience the life in our own heads. You do not know what life others lead, what experiences they navigate or what they think of you. Odds are great that your existence does not really carry much weight to them because they are busy and primarily concerned with the existence they deal with. You are the main character in your story, nobody else's.

    • Spongebobsquarejuche [none/use name]
      ·
      2 months ago

      In other words; You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you,

      • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
        ·
        2 months ago

        I cannot definitively know that you, or anything else exists. I am stuck within the context of my interpretations of the data at hand and even that data cannot be considered beyond refute. So, if I am stuck in this "simulation", then how I interpret and interact with the "simulation" is up to me.

        OP interprets a lack of response as a slight. Maybe it is. Maybe those people cannot stand OP. Maybe those people only heard a mumble coming from the general vicinity of OP. Maybe those people were having an all consuming conversation that OP's presence could not disrupt. Whatever. Ultimately tje only that matters is how much weight OP gives to that set of input data because no matter what anyone does, nothing can truly interact directly with OP.

  • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
    ·
    2 months ago

    Why even be offended by such a small thing? What's even the point of greeting though? I can see it makes sense when you want to talk to someone. The "hey", "hello" or whatever can work to grab attention and they can acknowledge that by responding back as opposed to immediately talking and the other person missing part of or the entire first sentence, if not more.

    But otherwise, there's a good chance it's distracting or even distressing.

    I usually try to greet back unless it's awkwardly late because I didn't expect it, as such it caught me off guard and I was thinking what I am supposed to do and what they want from me for too long.
    But this generally makes me forget what I was just thinking of or what I was doing and makes me anxious. Then I may even be thinking of how I handled that for the next few minutes. I hate that.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not mad people for greeting me, I know they just do that, but I'd rather not them do it. And as such I won't greet anyone either unless I need to talk to them. I don't want to cause same issues to others only to say "Hi".

    they looked at me, said nothing, kept talking to themselves.

    Yep. Sounds familiar. "Am I supposed to say something? I am paying attention, I am looking at you. Go on. Oh, nothing, OK..."

  • Delphinium [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Fuckem. Say gmornin' and keep moving, they probably suck anyway if they can't muster up the decency to reply.

  • Wild Bill@midwest.social
    ·
    2 months ago

    Like others have said, don't think too much about it. It's really not that big of a deal to greet your colleagues. If you insist on doing so anyway, do it because you want to, not because you expect something in return.

  • DPRK_Chopra [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    The americans I used to work with would always make a big performance out of leaving at the end of the day, but the Russians just pack up their shit and leave without a word.

  • vext01@lemmy.sdf.org
    ·
    2 months ago

    Why are they talking to themselves? Are they busy and don't want to be distracted?

    Or do you mean two people were talking amongst themselves?

  • 0x01@lemmy.ml
    ·
    2 months ago

    None of us are in your shoes so it's really tough to say what your coworkers' motivations are, but at the end of the day you are yourself, you are in charge of your mental and physical well-being. When someone else does something minor and it affects you strongly it's time to stop thinking about them and start thinking about what's happening in your own body.

    Unfortunately your emotions, like being offended, aren't entirely in your control. There are a lot of brain connections rustling around up in your noggin that don't pass through the filter of your consciousness.

    The best advice I can offer is to redirect yourself when you start to get offended. Pick a favorite topic, something that you like to think about often, and "switch" to it when you feel yourself getting triggered.

    As for how you should act when you aren't greeted directly? I see no reason for you to change your behavior, just act as though nothing happened, because nothing did happen

  • Mothra@mander.xyz
    ·
    2 months ago

    People are making some good points about cultural background differences and asking whether you have history already.

    Others say, keep doing what you do and don't let them get to you. I want to jump on that bandwagon, this is going to sound silly cringe but...

    ... greeting in a polite, confident and friendly manner asserts social dominance. You have no fear. You are the initiator; you take the lead. Be that person.