There are a lot of news articles about "back to the office", but they recirculate the same bad ideas. Let's provide some new ideas for the media to circulate. It may also have the effect of making the office less terrible.
I would like my work computer to do Windows updates lightning quick in the office. It currently takes weeks, in or out of the office. Stopping in for a day makes no difference, so there is no point. Now, if there was a point, I would go in.
What would get you in the office?
Some things that would make me consider it:
If every single one of these things were implemented I would then still probably leave the place for another WFH job if we didn't use our new ownership powers to revert back to WFH immediately.
Youd give up ownership of the company and extremely employee focused culture, guaranteed favourable yearly increases, as well as the company paying for you to get personal stuff done professionally in order to stay working from home?
This sounds incredibly reactionary and illogical.
I say at the end that we'd probably immediately use those powers to revert back to better working conditions (WFH).
I can't see any scenario where this doesn't happen immediately and was mostly just riffing at the absurdity of thinking companies would implement these things (outside of maybe free lunches) in order to empower labor (to the company's shareholders' detriment) willingly.