I'm pushing half a century in an industry that is not kind to old guys. I try to fend it off but every now and then it hits me. I'm pretty sure this is not unique to my life experience, or it wouldn't have a term :-)
It comes in waves for me. I'll feel fine for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, then I'll be deep in the depths for days, weeks straight. Mostly at night, staring out my bedroom window, contemplating the horror of the abyss.
Between COVID, climate change, and my own worsening health, pretty much constantly.
As I have gotten older, the frequency of episodes have decreased. In my early 40's now. I would say it occurs at least once every 3-4 months as opposed to weekly in my teens.
In my early twenties it was nearly constant. It's subsided greatly since then. At a certain point I think I just accepted that "there is no meaning, so it's ok".
So once you get there, and you start understanding capitalism, then that takes over as the most all consuming topic.
I may be relatively young compared to other guys on this thread, but I'm also a victim of something like this. Recently I'm fighting with the company I've worked for over so tiny shit that it astonishes me, and terrifies because of consequences of incorrect actions from my side. I've understood years ago that I'm no one and will achieve nothing, so it hits less. This dread also comes in waves, as I was good for whole 3 months, and now to the same old shit. Sigh.
Not enough of these say “hourly” for me to be comfortable answering.
Are y’all not freaking out every second or-…?
Every time I see a HexBear or Lemmygrad instance post. These people are so braindead that I just can't accept life anymore.
"I'm seen as toxic and think it's fun. I like to own the libs. See my red hat?"
Trump fan or hexbear user hmmm
I suspect I've undiagnosed manic-depressive disorder, but either way I get heavy existential dread for 1-4 weeks straight, then reoccurring again in 1-3 months. I also get similar pressure from my industry. So I do feel you :(
