Nothing but a ventpost. I've been touching grass and really doing heavy org shit within the empire for a while now and while some comrades are incredible and synthesize theory + human empathy perfectly, others seem to just grandstand as these "scientific beings" that really are just emotionally bankrupt and care zero about anything but "resolving the next contradiction" which is just fucking ridiculous and cult-like.
The world isn't so simple to view things in just this framework and to think that ML-ism will give us all the answers is not only stupid but anti-ML. I am struggling heavy at this point and I beg all of you who are organized to be reasonable and kind to your fellow humans. We aren't just comrades, we are friends, and if you find yourself becoming robotic or forgetting that, you're not a "consolidated communist" you're just fucking traumatized and lacking emotional availability.
I'm going to be taking a break from org work for a few months because of this and some other mental problems, but not before dealing with weird comments about individualism and disappointment and some serious reservations about continuing as a real life communist period.
Eat me up in the comments about how I'm a liberal, or let me know your thoughts otherwise.
No I understand. The people I organize with won't ever be my friends I think. They don't have to be, I have a perfect set of friends myself. It's not that I dislike them but I guess I just tolerate them and we strive for the same thing, which is nice. We just don't share the same interests, humour, whatever.
There are cliques within the party, nepotism, smugness, you make it, we have it. There are also very friendly people though so I guess it just boils down to who you organize with and who is close to you.
At the end of the day I am organizing though. And so are they. And we are getting successes. We just need to keep finding ways to co-operate.