A condom made in the USSR. Date of manufacture: September 1955. Circled in red - "Length: 49,5 centimeters"
What it says on the top: "Dear monarchists, please present your ugly pie-holes for inspection" (that's the closest I came up with trying to translate this masterpiece without its oomph getting lost)
You know what the funniest part is?
That's the smallest size :D (I'm kidding, but hey - to each according to their need)