I've been to one, once. I have since made it my business to ensure I never get invited to another one.

I know exactly what you mean by everything being cold, slimy and bland. There's more flavour in unbuttered toast.

Fuck subtlety, food should be loud that's what makes spicy food so damn good!

(Though the whitebread "elite" would probably melt if they ever had to eat anything with a chilli pepper in it.)