Help me resolve an internal dilemma I’ve been arguing with myself about for a few years.

So, just anecdotally, I’ve noticed that pretty much whenever I drink, or smoke weed, or am in a bad way with nicotine use, or very addicted to my phone, or whatever... not only do I find myself compulsively falling back on that activity for enjoyment, every other thing I could do for satisfaction just feels blunted, and I find myself emotionally spent & easily overwhelmed. I want to specify that I’m not talking about hangovers or any obvious side effects of drugs/booze. I can feel perfectly fine and still get this nagging feeling that I’m not enjoying something as much as I should be.

I pretty much notice that if tone down the substances, life just has a little more pop to it.

The model for this I’ve made up in my own thoughts is that you’ve got a limited amount of the good chemicals and pretty much any activity that expends them is going to leave you wanting the next time you do an activity that should release them.

So, is that just how that works or am I maybe dealing with something else? I feel like the popular culture view of addiction that you get from just watching TV and stuff isn’t quite this. It’s that addictions just actually are more fun than other activities. And they always say what’s dangerous is the impairment of the activity, and the control that activity can take on your life if you’re constantly chasing the high, but I never really see analysis of how it affects your baseline mood.

But if all these high dopamine activities not only provide a really fun thing to do but sap you of your ability to do anything else and enjoy it, then shit, are the straight-edge ppl right? Was there something to that story about those SV nerds doing dopamine fasting a couple years ago? Do they just get to expend that same quantity of good chemicals on normal shit, and find a greater satisfaction in daily activities? Do I have to quit nicotine for real and log off more to be less of a grumpy asshole?