...or at least the kind of model that isn't fueled by burning a small forest for every query? I am wanting to play an old video game, but I'm still only just learning the language and could use an aid. I really, really want to avoid any of this incredibly wasteful AI stuff.
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Google Translate allows you to run translations offline from the Android app.
Mozilla Firefox also comes with a beta offline translation engine. AI based, but since it's offline you can rest assured that it won't burn a small forest for every query. It's pretty good, albeit limited to a handful of languages.