I've been debating starting HRT for a while now, but I don't really know if I should start because of my depression makes me unable to feel excitement or happiness at the prospect of HRT
IMO, HRT is all about how you want to age. Whether or not you take the HRT, you're going to be a different person in 5 years. Which hormone do you want to be the dominant hormone in that time? Do you want to age in a more "feminine" or "masculine" way? No matter what, time moves forward and you will be older. Are you able to imagine yourself in 10 years? I found it much easier to do so when I started imagining myself as trans.
but I don't really know if I should start because of my depression makes me unable to feel excitement or happiness at the prospect of HRT
One thing I kinda regret is that I started HRT hoping it would entirely take care of my depression that I had for most of my life. It helped, but the fact it didn't "cure" me in 6 months created a mini crisis. In hindsight, I should have started therapy and antidepressants at the same time as the HRT ( which is what the informed consent clinic recommended, but
I started hrt because I didn't want to grow facial hair. Why do you want to? Also fwiw basically all changes are reversible and can be hidden for as long as you want (with the help of short hair, hoodies, etc.), so if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.
E: also you'll still be depressed unless your depression is just from gender dysphoria. You'll be you and feel like you. Reports of people feeling and acting different isn't because of the drugs themselves, it's their depression and dysphoria being alleviated, allowing them to feel and act and look as they wanted.
That's a good question I'm not sure, I'm just hoping it will make me happier
Trans girl here, I want to help, but I need some answers first.
To what are you transitioning and since when? How long have you thought about taking HRT?
I would take it. You've thought long about it and it seems like an informed decision. I think your mind clears up more on HRT and it will help you feel more emotions as well.
It would depend on what you expect to get from it I suppose. Is your depression related to gender dysphoria?
I'm not really sure if I have gender dysphoria or not, how can I tell? I definitely get gender euphoria from people calling me a girl and wearing skirts and stuff tho :>
I suggest seeing a therapist related to this. Not all trans people even experience gender dysphoria though, it's not a requirement. Like CW for me it was disgust at my body and general unhappiness with how I had to socialize as a male that led to anorexia to delay puberty and self harm (my entire body is basically covered with thin scars from using a box cutter)
