Hey, sorry Carcosa and others if this isn't the right place but I don't have the energy to get myself back on the matrix shit.
I have a very simple proposal which I believe will not stigmatise anyone nor stifle discussion etc, but would benefit a vulnerable segment of the hexbear community. I don't know if this is actually "simple" in practice because I don't know if the codebase supports this.
- confine all in-depth discussion about drugs and drug use to the c/drugs community
- remove c/drugs from the local/all feed
- link, clearly, to c/drugs from the sidebar so it is easy for people to find the community and the information or discussions they are interested in
Speaking as a trans person, this is hands down the best site for my people on the entire internet. We are a statistically vulnerable population, we need safe spaces for our discussions, we can rarely participate in the rest of the internet and/or real life without running into some fuckin bullshit that we shouldn't have to. Hexbear is different. Hexbear provides it all.
Speaking as an active drug addict, multiple-time relapser and veteran fuckup, I believe the recovery community is similarly statistically vulnerable, has to live in a world that normalises alcohol and other types of drug consumption, etc.
Speaking as somebody who was at one time a habitual methamphetamine user, I can attest to the fact that for some of us (and I've heard of this before I ever got that far down the path) the way, for example, news sites / tabloids etc, love to put a meth pipe on the cover or headline article whenever they have an excuse to attract attention- simply seeing those photos can be a relapse trigger.
A photo of a filthy pipe that I did not choose to look at but was right there on the cover of a fucking newspaper while I was in a shop, has in the past triggered me into recurring dreams of getting high, followed by days that feel like lost progress as I found myself fighting intrusive thoughts, impulses and romantic nostalgia trips that would have led nowhere good.
I've lost a lot of people to addiction, a variety of ways. My community, the trans community, notoriously loses a lot of our people to addiction.
I believe it would be wise for us to start posting with consideration about these topics and to be aware that there are users amongst us who are white-knuckling their way through a process of recovery that will take some of them years if not the rest of their lives.
I think it's worth the small burden of effort on the part of the drug using and drug agnostic segment of the community to post with an eye to harm minimisation and that includes protecting our recovering users from relapse triggers.
It should be on us, the posters, and on the site (if it's feasible) to put these discussions in a place which has to be actively sought out to be found.
We can provide the signposts in the sidebar, I don't think acknowledging that drugs exist is the problem here, it's the fact that c/all can throw a curve-ball at you at any time. We shouldn't expect recovering addicts to visit the drugs community and elect to block it, we should hold ourselves accountable and recognise that what might feel like a harmless discussion might be somebody else's trigger point.
I'm thinking very specifically of the ketamine discussion in c/cth yesterday. It's hard to talk about these things without potentially triggering that "romantic" connection some of us have with our drugs of choice. It would be better and more thoughtful to partition these discussions away from the most prominent and accessible feed.
Again, sorry for not visiting on matrix. I hope this post is appropriate. I'm just trying to be informative and I think I've recognised a pretty serious blindspot in our otherwise excellent site culture.
I hope the changes I propose are already supported by the software. I don't think I'm asking for much. I've probably written more on the topic than I needed to. But I don't think this is the sort of change that would or should upset the community.
Please.
Edit: If we have a recovery community it should probably be treated likewise. The post titles alone can be a trigger.
and I don't have a solution for how to treat alcohol in this. It's not a major issue that I've noticed but I just don't know. Alcoholism is one of the most destructive and the most pervasive. But THAT might be a bone of contention for some users so I elect to leave it out of this proposal.
and i wouldn't exactly call it "parasocial" if you actually interact with the person. parasocial is more just sort of listening in/viewing someone's social life (whether real or not) and developing a bond. there's no actual back and forth.
sure we're all anon internet people but i would say it's a slightly higher level.
Okay I can see your point. I'm a lonely MFer and wish I hadn't been expelled from so many platforms and communities. I'm usually in the poweruser/moderator/admin pipeline within weeks of getting into any real social platforms.
I wish I could agree with you about that on hexbear but I think it is either:
I think encouraging it encourages bad praxis for more serious forums for discussing direct action and could lead to infiltrators finding our vulnerables and grooming them into doing a thing. I think we should try to just be a list of almost forgettable names.
HB is a weird place sitting at a place of "clearnet, but you're safe to shitpost about how many ways to kill a CEO you have tried IRL" and the sort of space that could produce some real fucken hitters if we're "not careful" (do it right lolol) and I just don't know how I feel about it as a place to form and break social bonds within. That sort of thing can fuck up communities.
Like I'm fucking gutted that popular user recently left and (probably irrationally) worry it was somehow my fault. They probably just needed a break or realised we aren't as serious as they are about taking a hard line against <some behaviour> and it's got nothing to do with me at all. Gutted because we connected over something I wrote, in a brief few exchanges in the thread, and now they're gone and their nice words are gone and I never wrote down their final music recommendation to me so I'm pissed about that too. I'm fucking pissed.
There is another user who if they read this will probably know who they are who I made a point to avoid posting anything but the vaguest and comfiest replies to originally, before I took a break, cuz "they just like me fr" and I've had discord people end up in psychiatric care / relapsed / permanently damaged because of a brief online fling.
So while I agree that we're at a higher level, and real recognise real here and there- I just.. i've seen it go catastrophically bad many times before.
Should have a mastodon thingo for that sort of "getting to know each other thing" imo. I'm not gonna pretend like there aren't posters forming deep friendships via DM already on here but it just. It's risky. I'm a casualty of a community turning their back on me and supporting an abuser who once ousted me from the community got me perma'd from discord (nbd, i am hackerman) but like, it hurts on an epigenetic memories type level from the tens of thousands of years where people had was each other to stay alive.
I dunno. I still think about this issue a lot. Like whether I should put feelers out to see if anyone wants to invite me to a more appropriate specific community to hang out and get a better social itch scratched. Maybe I will maybe I won't. I hope to be in prison for direct action reasons within ~18 months or to have moved on to a more holistically healthy IRL lifestyle.
Do you really have an up-armored stormchaser rig? Mommy?
hey i was going to DM a response but read on your profile that you won't see it. been super busy lately (am in one of those jobs that is hell during holidays and weather events).
so been forced to touch grass but the grass is on fire and my face is being pressed into it
without going into deets i understand where you are coming from. im an elder millennial, and have a weird past with social media/online during that "golden age" period when images were scarce and we were all just profiles/handles
i made some RL relationships, however short, and met people as well as figured myself out by that kind of socializing. basically broke out of my social anxiety, especially towards women (cis and trans).
while simultaneously being rejected by very early proto-trans communities. so yeah i get squishier about this place mostly because it brings back good feelings again from the early 00s. feels more real then any other social media, especially reddit. perfect mix of old and new school.
and as far as the last question lol the armored stormchaser rig is a reference to a comment i made here months ago about transforming the U.S. military into the Climate & Weather Corps and turning an entire armored division into stormchasers
im just a lowly volunteer weather spotter i wish i lived somewhere where i could chase
best idea.
I want to reply more to this but I'm just waking up. I appreciate the reply and, despite what my profile says I am now back in the habit of keeping my eye on my inbox.
Sounds like you and I probably unknowingly crossed paths at some point if that's your age group and experience with the net.
I've been exploring other protocols and stuff lately and been scratching that good itch for "the old internet" in surprising places. Lots of weird gems still to be found.
Feel free to DM if theres stuff you wanna say, I'll see it and I'm in the habit of checking so yeah I'm so back lol.
Do dig that you found time to reply. Sorry to hear you dont get to chase storms haha.
Oh, and I'm also really sorry and hope you're doing okay if any of the current fires are fucking with your life.