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Listen honey, I frequently check the reddit dontputyourdickinthat sub, and if something ain't listed there, you better believe I'm putting my dick in it. BTW I'm posting you there.
Wait until she finds out some straight people have anal sex, some gay people are asexual, and you don’t need a penis is have anal sex. That, along with lesbians and bisexual people existing, is really going to ruin her day.