WASHINGTON—Warning citizens of a rising threat to the nation’s youth, U.S. officials cautioned Tuesday that knife-wielding doctors were roaming the country in search of adolescent children they could force to be trans. “Across America, parents are watching helplessly as trained surgeons compel their sons to become…
  • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    According to local sources throughout the nation, once the knife-wielding doctors have successfully swapped every teen’s gender, they probably have plans to go around swapping them all back again.

    miyazaki-laugh

  • HotSoda [love/loves]
    ·
    10 months ago

    We’re told these savage physicians are sharpening their scalpels as we speak

    Poetry

      • HotSoda [love/loves]
        ·
        10 months ago

        Having physicians there is what makes it special though. If the writer only used all s starting words it would have been cheesy. Having a word in there that doesn't start with an s but phonetically is sounded with a hard s in it is the genius of it.

        I'm so glad the onion has it's mojo back.

  • EpicKebabEater [he/him, it/its]
    ·
    10 months ago

    As one of those doctors it's like being a zombie. I used to be a good little cissy until an evil transer doctor changed my sex. Now I am also a doctor and feel the undeniable urge to change people's sexes.