Because I'm not allowed to ask for money anymore, though I must point out I haven't bought any drugs in close to a week...

So yeah, I'm unhoused again. I think. Pic is Ft. Rachel, which I just set up and at first it made me sad because the tarp looked trashy but I'm proud of the end result.

I need a fucking shower. I'm still paying my half of the rent for the basement I guess but I can't take a shower because of lice upstairs. I'm in SE, near the Lloyd Center, and I have no money to reload my Hop card so I'm stranded here until tomorrow morning when my employee charges at work reload.

I also need a change of clothes (small or medium t-shirt, "men's" size ~28 jeans ideally, 30 will probably do, small "men's" underwear, and holy fuck socks). A flannel button-down or hoodie would be nice. And a better jacket.

Be advised, I'm picky about style and I was picky about style even on the streets. Don't judge me.

I also need,

  • Blankets/bedding/a sleeping bag.
  • A lamp or two.
  • Another tarp.
  • Tactical gloves. *A machete and/or some other kind badass knife that can chop wood and chop skulls.
  • One of those cooler things so I can store perishable crap.
  • Plastic utensils/paper plates.
  • Totes for storage.
  • Feed me.

That's all I can think of at the moment anyways.

Thanks.

Rachel out.

P.S. I was hoping to get a badass 4 season USMC tent or something from Andy & Bax when I get paid next week. If you have a badass tent that will make look stupid please let me have it.

My friend and campmate who I'll call Ben has a sick camp, and a tent that doesn't even look like a tent inside. I'm coming after his ass.

  • c6cain6jih6d [she/her]
    20·
    4 years ago

    Seriously though I didn't do anything wrong and I've never meant any ill will or shady intent to anything or anyone. And you treat me like I'm a fucking piece of shit. All I did was ask for help. Not even monetary help. Just a place to shower and like, some tarps and socks and shit. I try so hard to be nice to everyone. I'll even be nice to people who hurt me over and over again. And it's not just you who treat me like this. People always fucking hate me for some reason. And this isn't fucking me being manipulative and melodramatic. This is how it feels. I have days where I feel nothing but emptiness. And you just laugh. I could (could, I'm being hypothetical, I am not suicidal and I'm not having suicidal thoughts) inject a bunch of H to kill myself and you'd downvote the thread about the person I used to be and comment about what a little piece of shit I was. Even though all I ever did was try to help, and keep myself going.

    And I'll keep trying to help. Even if everyone thinks I'm fucking shit, I know I'm not. The people who know me the best know I'm not. That's all that matters. I'll take the fucking beatings and keep trying.

    I wish you didn't hate me.

      • c6cain6jih6d [she/her]
        11·
        4 years ago

        I make, on average, $1,400 a month. I get paid every two weeks. One of my former roommates doesn't work and his partner works part time, so I have often been the one to support them. I pay both our phone bills and the internet bill. They occasionally decide unilaterally that it's my turn to pay for groceries, twist my arm for $200, and then spend $150 on weed (I don't smoke, really). I buy food and supplies for my unhoused friends. Sometimes they come to me for help getting well and I cover it. It keeps the peace and keeps me from having to see my friends flop out.

          • c6cain6jih6d [she/her]
            9·
            4 years ago

            Because I don't want more conflict than there is already with my roommate bugging me to come clean up my half of the basement, and I don't want them to become unhoused again, and be another two people who tell everyone what a fucking evil person I am.

            stop fucking begging for money here and stop funding abusers

            Stop fucking harassing me. I just asked for help. I would've given everything I didn't need to my friends. My unhoused friends. Fuck off. I'm literally in a fucking tent shivering. The three fucking layers of clothes and the blanket and the candles aren't working so well. And you're attacking me? I never hurt anyone. I never meant any harm. I had no nefarious intent ever, ever, ever.

            seems low given the amount of overtime you’ve described

            On average my income is $1,400 a month.

            That's all I'm gonna say, punk. I owe you nothing. Get fucked.

      • c6cain6jih6d [she/her]
        14·
        4 years ago

        I became homeless the first time because my father was killing me. His emotional and sometimes physical abuse almost drove me to suicide, so I chose life in a form most would consider more akin to purgatory.

        This second time around it's because I cannot fucking live in that basement with those two fucks, my roommates. One is controlling and mean. The other never talks to me and makes me feel alone.

        I stopped taking my HRT after a year being on it because of healthcare bullshit. I got back on after months of trying to get the money (when I was on Medicaid it was free). I kept forgetting to take them. I lost my spiro, and then I just stopped caring. The estrogen sits on my shelf like a doll a child doesn't play with anymore.

        I chose to be outside again for my mental health. My roommates pollute the air with their fucking video games and television shows. I can't think when I'm there. I can't sleep. I go to the bathroom to do dope every five minutes because it's so fucking miserable there.

        I almost fucking froze to death last night.

        Keep telling me my own life story, coward.