I always hated him, I think, even before I was a communist.

  • pooh [she/her, love/loves]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Here's a sample of what to expect:

    Alright, folks, here's the thing: everything's gone "woke." My bananas? They're now "ethically-sourced sun-yellow fruit beings." Tried to make a smoothie, and they hit me with a cultural appropriation seminar.

    Breakfast used to be simple. Now my cereal demands recognition for its organic past before I eat it. I mean, come on, Wheaties, I just want some fiber!

    Even walks aren't the same. A squirrel handed me a pamphlet about rubber tree exploitation because of my sneakers. Buddy, I just wanted some fresh air, not a lecture!

    In this brave new world, even water’s got an identity crisis. If my toaster starts a podcast on gluten oppression, I swear I'm done.