I truly don’t understand why so many people love IPAs

Flavor nuance. I don't like hopsy beer myself, but there's a LOT of different profiles out there. I've even found a few IPAs I liked.

As a person who prefers the complex, bright and earthy flavors from grains and yeast, getting face-fucked at the end of every sip by a one-note weed pine cone is so disappointing.

That I'll agree with. Not a lot of drinkers respect the mashbill anymore.