On the journey to becoming a productive member of society I had to compartmentalize my inner child.
During my early schoolboy years, he waited patiently for the school day to finish so that he could finally resume his creative and playful pursuits.
As the education became more involved, he had to wait a little longer because of homework.
In university, the complicated assignments, group projects, and late night study sessions meant that he would often not get to let loose until the weekend.
The full-time job, commute, technical projects, work politics, and other adult responsibilities really did the biggest number on him though. Sometimes he would go without playing for weeks, or months at a time.
Today it's as if my adult mask has adhered permanently to my face and I can no longer access him at all.
I don't know your specific work/life situation, so I won't pretend to know what all the constraints are, but if you'll indulge me I want to try to challenge the idea that play is something you can only do away from all the dull stuff.
If you have a "bring your inner child to work day" would anyone notice? And what if it works out for you and you start to smuggle them in every day? It doesn't have to mean acting like a big ol' goofball in meetings, but it could be approaching the stuff you have to do from the perspective of openness, what-ifs and sometimes asking the kind of questions (like "why?") that adults usually don't because they fear it may mark them as someone who doesn't know everything and have all the answers. Or when it comes to tasks that genuinely have fewer creative opportunities, setting small work-related challenges for yourself, achieving high scores nobody else knows about, etc. (I feel like I read a blog post or something about this, but I can't remember what.) Or just having a secret laugh at what five-year-old you might have thought of a co-worker or some situation you observed. If the "adult mask" you mentioned is working for you, then keep wearing it. But you get to decide what goes on behind it.
I don't want to sound like an apologist for working all the time, and you should also be making time for actual play, on your own time, that uniquely benefits you! But I also don't want you buying into the notion that work time, where you spend so much of your life, should be reserved for suffering in a straight-jacket.
Quite a few years ago I used eBay to find some of the toys I had as a kid.. a unique Matchbox car, some original trilogy Star Wars figures, some collector cards. I associate them with my childhood so when I look at them of touch them it takes me back to that simpler time and makes me happy
Mixed feelings here, what is an "inner child?" Feelings of exercising creativity and spontnuity don't have to be "compartmentalized"... Just work that into your adult life. only thing that is different otherwise is obviously responsibility, that will never go away. You might have to answer to your wife as to why you chose to spend a whole Saturday watching cartoons, but as long as you make your needs known, that shouldn't be an issue as well.
I'm sensing you have problems communicating your desires(ideas, inspirations, etc) ... other than that, you might be feeling nostalgia. But nostalgia is mostly ignorance. It felt like good times at times because I was ignorant to how my parents struggled.
I never had the child phase as my life didn't allow it, but I have no inner need for conformity. I bought a plushie and sleep with it. It's comfy to do. I have a tiny dinosaur figurine. My child me wouldn't want or be able to get them, but my current self can be myself as much as my economical standing allows.
I still drink chocolate milk and watch cartoons and play video games and shit in my free time. honestly the key is just learning not to care.
I still catch up with him occasionally but we both got older and now we don't have as much in common as we used to
