In that case I have good news for you: the Gospel of Matthew is not really written by an author called Matthew. It's by an anonymous author and much later attributed to a guy called Matthew.
Sure, there is a chance that the anonymous author was also called Matthew but I think it's small enough for you and all the other Matthew-phobes who downvoted my comment to undo your misdeeds and seek redemption.
I HATE people named MATTHEW >:C
In that case I have good news for you: the Gospel of Matthew is not really written by an author called Matthew. It's by an anonymous author and much later attributed to a guy called Matthew.
Sure, there is a chance that the anonymous author was also called Matthew but I think it's small enough for you and all the other Matthew-phobes who downvoted my comment to undo your misdeeds and seek redemption.
I'm gonna go back in time and MAKE SURE.
But don't kill him, even if he is called M*tthew! For all we know he could be your grandfather.