So much of what’s perceived as attractiveness is honestly just swag. Confidence is really difficult to fake but if you love yourself and feel confident on the inside I swear to god it works like a magnet. I agree with you about the nice guy thing — I think where that goes wrong is that men who don’t think they deserve love think that kindness is all they have to offer. Anything that is rooted in insecurity will have the opposite effect of what you want it to have. In order to attract people who also love themselves you need to make sure you do whatever you can to love yourself first. I don’t think that it’s essential that you love everything about your appearance but you learning to appreciate it enough to rock it will take you most of the way. As time goes on more of the things you didn’t like about yourself you’ll come to appreciate because they are what make you you.