Well, my first senses of euphoria was shaving, removing that dysphoria. And wearing women's clothes. Not being wolfman any more and just being a normal person was exhilarating.

Recent euphoria? I paid for a women's ticket to an event. Felt anxiety, and messaged the event coordinator about the whole "I've been out for like a month and not very passing, and social anxiety cuz familial rejection."

They said, ya, women's ticket was right and 'grats on coming out. So that felt really nice, and I have an actual adult party/event to go to for the first time that isn't work related?! Not some kids birthday party?! I'm excited, scared, and scared I'm gonna fuck this up by being too introverted. I know you get out what you put into these kinda things. The first hurdle is out of the way, and I'm in the door, at least.

I mean, same? If I hadn't moved out of the bible belt ten ears ago... If my kids hadn't came out to me years ago... Well, I'd still be more miserable than I am now.

I can recognize the dysphoria and try to fight it instead of thinking I'm an ugly guy. I'm starting to recognize why I hate my body, and am slowly fighting back to find who I am, one shaved hair, one shirt, one necklace, one technique at at time.

Let's face it, we grew up in a time when trans people were ridiculed at best. Mrs Doubtfire, Ace Ventura. Thank god for the information age, that we can talk like this with complete strangers, and share ideas and positivity and support and love.

I'm quite ignorant on the matter, but what little I've been able to find online about vaginoplasty, don't you have to dilate like, twice a week, at least? I'm no doctor, but sounds like you may have pulled/tore something?

Might be good to just go to urgent care for them to take a look? Wouldn't they at least shrug, go "IDK, pulled muscle?" and give you muscle relaxants if that's what it is? Or to a gynecologist? Someone should probably take a look up in there or something.

I hope you find a medical professional that's actually professional, soon. Good luck.

My first name came from an indie game. In Sundered, an Eldritch metroidvania, the protagonist's name is Eshe. I liked it. Funny part is, I did some googling after the fact. Eshe has Swahili origins, meaning life. Lynn has French origins, meaning "living near a river, waterfall, or stream," or something. Or, as I'm choosing to mean, "wellspring of life."

No point to my story, either. Just letting you know, you can pick your name for any reason you want. Live your life. Kinda the whole point of coming out as trans, ya? Being yourself?

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find the ways to express yourself without being ostricized by your family and community. If you need support, we are here

I'm sorry it went as you expected.

My son came to me last night, saying he thinks he hates both my mother, and his. I told him, if he doesn't want to hate them, he should talk to them, and tell them what they are doing to hurt him.

If they want to work with him, great.

If they don't, well... Cancers get cut out of the body, ya?

We probably both know what talking is going to accomplish, though. Good luck. I hope, other than that, things are going at least okay for you?

Good luck. Idk what to tell you, what advice to give. Everyone's story is different, with different ups and downs. Just... not to be a Debbie downer, but maybe temper your expectations? You've read my ups and downs, I'm sure. Hope for the best, expect the worst, ya know? I send love, hugs, and support from the other side of the internet.

Random strangers treat me as just another person, so that's pretty nice. No, but actually. I always have such anxiety about going out, and forget I live in one of the most LGBT+ positive places in the country. I have so much internalized crap from growing up down south in Baptist churches.