Reed Hastings is a big Mussolini fan and Ted Sarandos, our “co-CEO”, is an appreciator of German history! The outfits shown in this press shot will become the new required uniforms at TERFlix.
We see you, we hear you. Please express your discontent by upvoting this downvote and watching our hit series Squid Game:
Thank you Nabisco! We love crackers!
I want to acknowledge and thank our many members that stuck with us, and to apologize again to those members, both current and former, who felt we treated them thoughtlessly. We are proud to have hired and then fired a number of trans and asian employees and their allies the moment they questioned our decisions.
Both the TERFLIX and Netflix teams will work hard to regain your trust and force our own prejudiced world view onto you. We know it will not be overnight, ideology takes time and patience to burrow its way down deep in those maleable skulls of yours.
Actions speak louder than words. But words help people to understand actions. Our actions make our beliefs clear.
Respectfully yours,
-Reed Hastings, Co-Founder of TERFLIX and proud white supremacist
It is possible we are moving too fast and need to all be dragged out into the street and shot– it is hard to say. But going forward, TERFLIX will continue to run the best streaing service ever, throughout the world. TERFLIX will offer the best streaming service for TV shows and movies, hopefully on a global basis.
The additional streaming content we have coming in the next few months is substantial, racist, and bigoted against many groups besides Asian people and the transgenders. We are always working to improve our prejudice and nihilistic bigotry further.
For me the Netflix red envelope has always been a source of joy. The new logo still has that distinctive bold lettering, but now it will have a TERFLIX logo comprised of four Netflix "N"s arranged in a clock-wise circle. I know that logo will grow on me over time, but still, it is hard. I imagine it will be the same for many of you.
We’ll also return to marketing our transphobia during all Pride Events, now with the TERFLIX brand. You won't remembet any of this in 3 months and we're going to throw money at this problem until it goes away.
Some members will likely feel that we shouldn’t be racist and transphobic, and that we shouldn’t rename our business. Our view is with this split of the businesses, we will be better at streaming, and we will be better at blaming Asian people for the global coronavirus pandemic.
TERFLIX will be the same website and streaming service that everyone is used to. It is just a new name, and streaming members will go to TERFLIX.com to access their streaming queues and choose movies. One improvement is that we'll continue support transphobic pieces of shit like Dave Chappelle and sending out memos telling our employees to stop being precious snowflakes.
Other improvements will follow. Another advantage of being open about our complete hatred for everyone who isn't a comfortable white cishet man like we are is simplicity for our members and preserving the comfort of our own privilege.
A negative of the renaming and separation is that the TERFLIX.com and Netflix.com websites will not be integrated (we are firmly against any and all forms of integration). There are no pricing changes (we’re done with that for this year!).
Members who subscribe to both services will have two entries on their credit card statements, one for "I FINANCIALLY SUPPORT TRANSPHOBIA" and one for "pets.com". The total will be the same as the current charges.
Reed here!
Recently, we have realized that streaming and supporting bigots and nazis is becoming two quite different businesses, with very different cost structures, different benefits that need to be marketed differently, and we need to let each grow and operate independently. It’s hard for me to write this after over 20 years of being a smug white liberal with pride, but we think it is necessary and best: In a few weeks, we will rename "Netflix" to “TERFLIX”.
We chose the name TERFLIX because it refers to us being **TERF*s. We will keep the name “Netflix” only for our Adam Sandler comedies as per the legal contract and contractual obligations laid out in his contract. He has also sent multiple death threats to our homes and shot at least one court appointed mediator, but that is another issue entirely.
Netflix has a partnership with Nestle branded bottle water. It's like normal water, but with petroleum particulates in it!
I have no fingers and I must type
I have no sleep and I must dream.
I have no mouth and I must scream.
What a wonderful sight! Nature is a miracle!
Try streaming Bojack Horseman while you snooze!
(seriously though, sorry that happens to you)
Enjoy, it's fun!
Fun Netflix(tm) Fact:
Reed Hastings frequently murders people who are unhoused with his bare hands for novelty and pleasure. He cannot stop. It is a homocidal compulsion because he is a dead-eyed lizard person.
This has been a Netflix(tm) Fact!
If you have our Netflix(tm) mobile app installed, please make sure it is open when you smash your phone so we can collect insights from the telemetry. Thank you!
I’m not sure why my official title is in quotation marks and have escalated this comment to our HR and People Development teams. This grammatical aggression is not in-line with TERFLIX’s culture and will require a PIP(performance improvement plan) in addition to at least one sun-shining session.
-Ted