I'm happy to go down with this Ship of Nighmares. Like Stink here, I am disgusted at the unavoidable blood sacrifices that make my way of life tick. I refuse to help an evil rose bloom, even if I live on the very same vine.
I will be singing praises and comforting my loved ones as this rampaging monster is brought down.
If Viktor Frankl can find solace and happiness in a Nazi concentration camp, I can manage to live what's left of my life happily celebrating the end of this Evil Empire.
Thanks for the reply, I'll check out that app. I had Headspace on a student subscription for a while. I've found just having "quiet time" is enough for me, sitting or making a meal. I may check out Buddhism more seriously rather than doing "McMindfulness".
I'll check out the protein puddings too. I got some Vegan protein powder, but I sometimes use jerky if there's no other way my body will eat protein. Trying out TVP, having some success.
I am now confident I'm burnt out (have been for over a decade). It's so hard to take it slow with a looming deadline of "You'll be homeless in 5 months". On the other hand, I've been through cycle after cycle of burnout, and I'm so done.
I'm taking things at my own pace more, and I know when I've "run out of spoons", at least for today.
I'm thinking of putting minimal effort into finding a job, but not giving up. Then, finding ways to get out and connect with people more. Maybe a person I meet has a job, maybe I get a friend, maybe I get overwhelmed and go home early. But, I can't keep trying the same stuff as usual, since it hasn't really been working.
I'm in a similar position as OP, and I really appreciate what you wrote.
I tried to 'escape' by doing part time stuff and tried to start my own business, and it didn't get off in time. Now, I have to go back, defeated, eventually desperate for a job, financially set back a year or two.
I know I've grown a lot as a person in the past 4 years, but I feel like I'm just getting older and going nowhere.
First self-improvement post. I'm feeling rough and defeated lately.
After what I'll call a sabbatical, I have to go job searching again. Thankfully, I still have a few more months before I run out of money. But, after looking for jobs for just one month, I feel so burnt out and demotivated.
I regret quitting my old job, even though I know I had to quit for my own sanity.
On a positive note, I haven't given up yet.
I keep applying to jobs for about an hour a day
I scheduled to do Door Dash this week, to not hemorrhage money as quickly
I do some dog training on the side, and have 2 good clients a week
I've been a bit more mindful and restful
I've been drawing almost every day
I finally cut off a toxic family member for good
I've been cooking more
My biggest hurdles are PTSD and stress. I'm so fucking tired and scared all the time. I also struggle to eat enough protein, but I'm minding that as much as I can bear. I just constantly fear that I can't do it, I feel like I'm just ready to collapse. Maybe I am burnt out, instead of trying harder, I think I just need to stop, or at the very least reduce stimulation.
I left a position that I couldn't take anymore. Got a part time thing to tide me over while I figure out what I want to do.
Time's up, and my most realistic option is to go back to the meat grinder. If it's any consolation, I found it most tolerable when I took the perspective of a fly-on-the-wall of this great Farce.
Edit: Thanks for replying. I'm mostly just pissed that this asshole is still fucking with my life. Sure other things influenced my life, but without this man, I'd be $50k richer at minimum, have a better career, and wouldn't have almost died in a car accident (totaling the best goddamn car I've ever owned).
I feel a bit stuck looking for a job, and it's hard to resist cultural programming to blame myself. I left a cushy MIC job because my moral compass couldn't take it anymore. I tried part time employment, gig work, even starting my own business, but I've run out of time and money.
I have until February to find a job, which is a lot longer than most say when they're out of time. I'm stuck in [Midwest Suburb], and am thinking of dropping everything to find a job in Chicago. Well, not thinking, feeling.
I feel like I'm being called to Chicago, but I've never been, and I'm only going on a short trip there sometime soon. I have been socially isolated for my whole life, and I'm looking for a hub of people that I can call my own. Maybe I can find that there, if I want to increase my chances for finding community. Everybody wants to feel like they belong, and maybe it's futile to keep seeking it, when I could build it where I am, even if it isn't ideal.
I've changed a lot in the past 8 years, and I still don't know what I'm doing. I do know how to take single steps forward, and I think that's all I need, but... it's scary.
Yeah, I don't think he's a hack or fraud. He just liked to do things "this way", and after you understand that, you can appreciate his work.
I think it silly to compare work, at least, that's what I want to feel as a new artist myself. Other art isn't better, it's just different. I want to tell myself that my art isn't bad, it's simply a true reflection of what I can express now.
They are forms of expression ASMR using audio and visuals to form a unique experience. Maybe not a mukbang... not too familiar with that. I would clarify that ASMR may be a medium of artistic expression.
In a similar way, personifying animals in furry art can be a genre or medium, and I still wouldn't call MS Paint Sonic Inflation Pornography "high art".
Those are just my thoughts. I'm wary of gatekeeping artistic expression, and think "cringe" things are necessary for artistic expression to bloom. But maybe that's just from my own experiences of learning how to draw, and making a lot of "bad" drawings in the process.
You called?